We Few Remain (The Last of Us)
by outlawknights12
Summary: "I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real." - Johnny Cash A story of Joel and Tess before they met Ellie.


Twenty years later, he still had nightmares about her. He saw everything as clear as day every night, the flash of muzzle fire from the machine gun, Sarah's screams as they both hit the ground. He saw the blood gushing from her stomach as he tried to put pressure on the wound only to have more blood escape between his fingers. She sounded like a wounded animal, whimpering as he begged her to hold on.

"Shit." He sat straight up, the threadbare blanket falling down around his waist, drenched in his own sweat. Try as he might, he couldn't un-see what was still happening in his dream. Sarah, dead. He rubbed his eyes and wished he had died with her.

"Another one?" a sleepy voice beside him sounded almost irritated.

"It's fine." He swung his legs over the side of the bed and shakily stood. It was eerily quiet in the street. He looked down at his watch and wish it still worked, as broken as the face was. Pulling aside the worn curtain, his gaze quickly swept the street. It was almost dawn and people were just beginning to stir. In no time at all, the soldiers would be out again.

Walking out to the kitchen, he ran the faucet quickly and splashed his face. It had a strange taste and smell these days. He leaned against the counter, the sharp edge of it biting into his palms.

"Hey," her voice was softer now as she stood behind him and slipped her arms around his waist, pressing her cheek to his back.

"Another nightmare?"

"Yeah."

"Come back to bed, I'll help you forget," she slipped a hand inside his shirt.

"No, Tess." He pushed her hands away, turning to face her.

"Come on Joel, she'd dead. You've been reliving it for twenty fucking years! You think I don't know that?" Tess seemed to lose her patience then regain it for a moment and the hard lines of her face began to relax. She reached for his hands and clutched them in her own.

"She's not coming back. No matter how much you dream about her, she's gone." She released one of his hands and touched the side of his face. Her fingers were cold.

"Maybe it's almost better that way. The things that you, that we've done, it's probably better she didn't see them." Tess paused, giving her words time to sink in. Joel knew she was right, in some roundabout way. He never would have wanted Sarah to see the horrible things he had done, and was still doing, to survive.

"Now come back to bed. We have a drop later." Tess pulled him back to the bedroom. Joel allowed himself to be taken, reluctantly. In his mind's eye now, he saw Sarah, shaking her head, almost as if she knew all the things, the terrible things. He shook his head, hoping that the image would go away. She was a child. She wouldn't have understood.

He laid down again, the worn mattress' springs digging into his back as he stared up at the ceiling full of scratches and shallow holes. Tess moved closer and tucked herself in under his arm, the side of her head against his shoulder and against his chin with her arms resting on his chest. Joel pressed his hand against her back. He could pretty much feel the bumps of her spine through her shirt. It had been a tough couple months. He tried to focus on something else but every time he closed his eyes, he saw her again.

 _"Daddy."_ He could almost hear her say.

When he next opened his eyes it was daylight and Tess was gone. The bed on her side was cold. She had been gone a few hours at least. He sat up slowly, his body protesting with a series of sharp pains through his back. Getting old sucked balls. The front door opened and shut and he heard the thud of footsteps in the main room. _Tess._ Standing, he walked out of the room into the hallway, hearing the crash of glass hitting the floor and shattering. He moved quickly to grab his gun from the bedside stand and cocked it. _Probably only three or four bullets left._

Slowly, he stayed close to the wall as he edged towards the doorframe where the hallway opened up to the rest of the apartment. So far there was no other noise, just a strange silence.

"Shit. Dammit. Fuck." Tess's pissed voice calmed him slightly and he lowered the gun as he stepped out into the room. Tess was on her hands and knees trying to pick up some of the larger pieces of glass and she had cut herself pretty good. Joel tucked the gun into the back of his jeans and bent down to help.

"What happened here?"

"Stupid thing slipped out of my hand." Tess sounded more upset that she'd dropped a shot of whiskey on the floor than the glass itself.

"Hey, look at me?" Joel gently lifted her chin. She was sporting one of the biggest black eyes he'd ever seen on a woman and the corner of her lip was split and still lightly bleeding.

"What the hell happened to you?"

She pushed his hands away.

"Got jumped. Some assholes tried to take the pills."

"Those assholes still with us?"

"That's funny." She swiped at the corner of her mouth with her sleeve, "they're dead as shit. Nobody steals from us. Nobody."

"Okay then." Joel batted her hands away and finished picked up the pieces of glass that he could then kicked the rest under the overhang of the lower cupboards. Tess stood and pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes, the large purple bruise over her left one seemed to grow darker by the second.

"Bastards got some good hits in though."

Joel briefly thought about telling her to go lie down but Tess never did was she was told. Ever. He had been with her long enough to know that.

"They're out killing Fireflies this morning,"

"Same as usual?" he responded, trying to sift through the cupboards to find some iodine. He found it but the bottle was more than half empty. It really had been a rough couple of months. Tess shook her head and opened her eyes.

"Naw, worse. Like dragging people out in to the street who they just suspect are Fireflies and then putting one in the back of their heads. It's like they're crazed or something."

Joel tipped the bottle and dripped some iodine on a moderately clean rag sitting on the edge of the sink.

"Here." He dabbed it gently on the corner of Tess's mouth. She winced slightly. He moved on to her hand, binding the cut as best as he could. There was nothing really he could do about her eye. It was a vicious shiner.

"What time is the drop today?" he asked as he finished.

"Few hours from now. We get the ration cards then we get ready for our drop with Bill in the next couple days. He better have better shit for us than he did last time. If he doesn't, we're not gonna waste our time with him anymore."

Joel nodded and leaned back on the counter, looking at Tess like he hadn't really looked at her fully in a long time. She had lost weight. Not enough for probably anyone but him to notice but she was beginning to show signs of the toll this life had taken on her.

"Hey, come here," Joel moved closer and pulled her into a hug. She wasn't much of a touchy-feely type but he felt her relax after a second and let out a deep sigh. She gave him a little squeeze before pulling away.

"You got it out of your system now?" she joked.

"What?"

"Nothing. Can just tell you had a kid is all." Tess tossed her head back and pulled her brown hair back behind a headband. "We should go see Ray," she added, "find out when the ration shops are expecting their next load. Ration cards don't mean shit unless there's actual food on the shelves."

Joel nodded.

"Alright then," Tess motioned towards the door, "let's go then."

In an instant there was the harsh sound of splintering wood as the door was kicked in. Soldiers with guns flooded into the apartment, yelling at them to get down on the ground. Tess, for a split-second looked like she was about to fight but then reconsidered, and dropped to her knees. Joel did the same. There were about seven or eight soldiers from what he could see, all loaded to the hilt with equipment and weapons. One of them jammed a machine gun butt between Tess's shoulders and sent her sprawling face down to the floor with a thud and a groan.

"Leave her alone!" Joel yelled, only to catch a rifle butt to the face. Everything went fuzzy before turning to black.

When he came to, he couldn't see Tess. He could barely see anything. The room he was in was dim and when he tried to move, he was chained to a chair and sitting behind a metal table.

"Tess? Tess?" he tried to call out, his voice hoarse and the sound of his own heartbeat pounding through his head. _What had they done with her? What do they want?_ In that moment, a sick feeling crept through him. The trucks. The lone government shipments of medical supplies sent to the quarantine zones. He and Tess had been knocking them off for months, stealing pills to sell for ration cards and guns and the like. _Dammit._

Joel tried to rock the chair forward, the clanking of the chains against the metal chair sounded incredibly loud in the silence. His fingers were numb. The door in the corner of the room opened with an awful scraping noise. A woman entered wearing traditional riot police-esque garb entered and sat across from him. In the dim light, Joel hadn't even noticed a chair on the other side of the metal table.

"We've been tracking you for weeks." Her voice was cold and the way she spat the words out seemed almost mechanical.

"We haven't done anything," Joel growled, "where is Tess?"

She smirked and leaned back. "You mean the woman you were arrested with? She's in interrogation. Don't worry though, you'll be seeing her soon enough."

Joel leaned forward against his restraints.

"We haven't done anything wrong," he repeated.

"Come on Joel," the woman leaned forward as well, making direct eye contact. "You don't believe that any more than I do."

"Where is Tess?"

"You'll get to see her as soon as you confess that you both have been the ones attacking our trucks and stealing our shipments. Can't say she'll still be alive but hey, a body's a body."

A deep rage began to well up inside him, something that emboldened him over the fear.

"If you touch her, I'll-" "You'll what?" She stood and slammed his head down on the table, the metal freezing cold against his face.

"What are you going to do?! You can't do anything!" She bent down and lowered her voice, "I could have you shot as a suspected Firefly right now and no one would even question me." Releasing the fistful of his hair in her grasp, she stood and straightened her uniform.

"I'll give you some time to think it over." In two strides, she was at the door and half opened it.

"Don't take too long though. The longer you wait, the more interrogation she has to go through. If you actually give a shit about her, the sooner the better." She left as quickly as she came, leaving Joel alone in the heavy silence.


End file.
